that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
