It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
