yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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