Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
