i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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