she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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