Pappa wants mamma naked
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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