blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
