Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i dont even know how to be here
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize