How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
