i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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