Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
