if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
