there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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