meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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