Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
