ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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