oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
