Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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