I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
