Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
