things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
