I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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