I cockslap morals
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
