Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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