After last night, I could never be a politician.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
