i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
