Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
