So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
