Little spoons don't ask big questions
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
