yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
