why didn't you poke me back
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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