It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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