He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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