Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize