I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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