Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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