I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Randomize
