I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
