Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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