Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
