6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
