dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
