Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
