It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
should my penis look like a turkey
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
