so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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