The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
