You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
