i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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