I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
