When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
