i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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