I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
