Did you just see the Batmobile???
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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