Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
