Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
