he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
as a side note pls kill me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
