So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
